


hotline bling

by discountghost



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, College Radio AU, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, pina colada song is mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:13:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22249969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/discountghost/pseuds/discountghost
Summary: it can only mean one thing
Relationships: Chwe Hansol | Vernon/Hong Jisoo | Joshua
Comments: 2
Kudos: 39
Collections: Gifteen 2019





	hotline bling

**Author's Note:**

  * For [moonkevin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonkevin/gifts).



“I am not reading this out loud.”

Seokmin turned, unsure of what exactly the other was talking about. In the cramped student studio, the two are too close to not be sweating bullets. The window let in the thick breeze of late summer air, and that did nothing to save them from overheating, or their own tempers. Seungkwan peered over at him, eyes narrowed.

“This is, like, the fiftieth time we’ve gotten this same pair flirting.” He gagged and stuck the printed copies of the inboxed questions in Seokmin’s face.

He had to peel the paper from his skin, now damp with sweat. “It can’t be that bad.”

“They’re using the words from that Pina Colada song.”

“No…”

“ _ Yes. _ ” 

God, really? If the heat didn’t kill him, people trying to get hookups through their inboxes would. But they didn’t have much of a choice. At least there were some points to style. “I’ll do it, then.”

Seungkwan seemed satisfied with that, humming his agreeance before turning back to the other printouts. They weren’t scheduled to be on air with the inbox segment for another half hour. Browsing through it beforehand had always brought them some excitement, but not recently. It’d been a couple weeks since the pair had found their way into their asks. A simple segment of proposing questions with no answers had turned into a less than thrilling mystery of trying to get two people to at least get out and meet one another.

They were at a loss of what to do, especially with some complaints coming in from both staff and listeners. They had not advertised themselves to be a set of matchmakers; it was supposed to be a simple radio show where they alleviated the stress of fellow students. Seokmin had tried to keep it that way, but there was a bit of a romantic aspect to reading out confessions and helping people work up the courage to ask their crushes out on dates. Seungkwan had agreed, even gone the extra mile to set up the inbox. 

But this monstrosity wasn’t what they were built for.

Time rolled on without it meaning to and Seungkwan was nudging at his calf with his foot. Seokmin’s lips curled up slightly in a sneer. He clicked his tongue as he rolled forward in his seat, just as the song drew to a close.

“It’s that time — where we answering your burning questions and extinguish the flames of your curiosity!” He felt himself die a little inside at the tag line. They’d come with it on the fly, and it had worked, but there was something about it today that hurt worse than others. He tried to keep his tone cheerful despite feeling otherwise as he dreaded reading out the first of the asks.

The song...wasn’t bad. Okay, maybe it  _ really was _ (putting in an ad in the papers to cheat on your wife?) and it didn’t fit the situation, but when you didn’t focus so much on anything outside of the chorus, it wasn’t that bad. Seokmin sucked in a breath, done rationalizing it to himself. 

“User heartandsol asks: if you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain. If you’re not into yoga, if you have half a brain. I’m the love that you’ve looked for, write to me, and escape.”

Okay,  _ maybe  _ his skin was crawling. He didn’t want to admit it, but saying it aloud was a lot worse than reading it on paper. Even if the audience couldn’t see him, he kept smiling, hoping that he might be able to maintain some semblance of sanity.

“Oh, looks like he’s gotten a response.” Seungkwan’s voice had taken on the sort of tone that a commenter for a sports game would take. “A  _ lordsaviorjisoos _ responded with:  Yes, I like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain. I'm not much into health food, I am into champagne. I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon, and cut through all this red tape.”

Seokmin leaned closer to the mic, sucked in a breath. “Looks like they ran out of characters to finish that off.”

“That’s kinda sad.”

Seokmin nodded, pulled at the collar of his shirt. When were they going to fix the air conditioning? The staff had said something about tomorrow, but he honestly couldn’t pay that much attention. He was still coming down from the high of pulling an allnighter for an exam. He rubbed his eyes, glancing down at the paper again.

“There doesn’t look like any sort of response from  _ heartandsol, _ so I think it’s safe to assume that he might have tuned out. Or chickened out.”

There was another ding of an incoming response. 

“ _ Chanisaurus _ sends: We don’t have a bar called O’Malley’s so I guess there’s no planning an escape.”

Seokmin could hardly hold back the laugh that left him as Seungkwan finished. That was mean, to laugh at someone else’s disappointments. But — it  _ was _ funny. Seungkwan had ever more of a struggle holding it together when he glanced at his co-host, half-glaring at him as he pressed his lips together. His shoulders quivered, and that’s what gave him away. After a moment, he cleared his throat and continued.

“Maybe we can find alternatives. Isn’t there a fruit bar?”

Seokmin shook his head, sighed. “No, no. One of the lines is that they’re not much in “health foods”. I think a fruit bar would serve those kinds of things.”

“You’re right. Good catch.”

“There is that taco place on 3rd and Main.” His brow rose and Seungkwan shared a look with him, before deflating, hands thudding on the counter.

“I know the one, but it’s expensive.” His nose scrunched up. “You’d really need to splurge. Don’t know what it’s so pricey for; it’s just some fancy tacos.”

Seokmin glanced at the clock, sighed again. “I’m so sorry we couldn’t find you an alternative,  _ Sol. _ That wraps up this segment. Maybe you’ll find some peace in hearing the original song.” With it queued up, he nodded at Seungkwan. The other hit play and turned off the mics. They backed up from the desk.

Summer heat soaked into them as they let the song plan, planning their own escape from the hell of two lovers not understanding how to communicate.

At least there was progress. And by progress, Seokmin meant they had taken to using vague descriptors and things that could be literally anyone on campus. It had gotten to the point that it bled out of the duo’s work and into their friend groups. With his head propped up on Joshua’s lap, he’d spent the better part of the last hour complaining about it. The other had the patience of a saint and endured it all.

Seokmin could appreciate that. Joshua could definitely make it to sainthood. He was already fulfilling the whole celibacy thing, if he wasn’t wrong about that.

“When was the last time you went on a date?”

Joshua blinked, looking down at him. “What does that have to do with the idiot lovers you were just talking about?”

“‘m just curious. You’re a catch; why hasn’t anyone tried to hook you?”

Just the faintest of dustings of pink hit the other’s cheeks. “Someone did.”

Their foreheads had been two seconds away from colliding with how quickly Seokmin sat up. Wide-eyed, he crossed his legs and stared the other down for a minute. “You serious? And you didn’t tell me?”

“Am I supposed to tell you everything?”

“I mean — yeah? We’re  _ friends? _ ”

Joshua shrugged, not meeting the other’s gaze. “I thought you were friends with Seungkwan.”

“Wait, oh my god, was it me? Oh my god, Shua —” 

“ _Oh my god,_ _no!_ ”

Seokmin released a breath, fell back into the grass. It was dying and kind brittle beneath him, but the few spots of barely holding on grass were comfortable enough. “I was going to have a heart attack; don’t scare me like that.”

“I would never.” A hint of laughter carried in his voice. Seokmin looked up to see him smiling, and he could only do the same in return. 

But, it dipped slightly. “Does whoever it is know?”

Rather than respond verbally, Joshua shook his head. He pulled at a blade of grass. 

“Do you  _ want _ them to know?”

Joshua shrugged again. “I mean — I do? I want to be able to go on dates and stuff, but I’m kinda just...scared?”

“Why would you be scared?” Seokmin rolled over on his side, propping his head up on his arm. “You’re great; they’ll definitely like you.”

“I don’t know. It’s stupid and I shouldn’t be worried with how everyone reassures me. I just...can’t  _ not _ be worried.” He sighed. “Does that even make sense?”

Seokmin nodded, rolled over so he was once again lying in Joshua’s lap. “That makes perfect sense.” He hummed, and they fell quiet. Thoughts of anything else left him as they remained that way until his alarm for class went off.

“Is there any way we can start getting a DM function on the site?”

Seokmin glanced at Seungkwan, who tapped the eraser of his pencil on the desk. “We  _ could, _ but we also took that function off because we were worried about crazies coming in and getting at everyone. And bots.”

“I know, but, like — this is getting annoying, and kinda sad.”

He didn’t have to say aloud what he was talking about; his co-host’s face scrunched up in a mix of disgust and understanding that he had come to know well. 

“I get it — I do — but we didn’t allow for DMs because of what we wanted to avoid.” Seungkwan took another sip of his drip. The hollow sound of the straw bringing up nothing echoed in the room. “It sucks, but we can’t.”

“What if we did like...like — a hotline. Where we get someone to volunteer and people call in. One of the two might call in and then we can figure out a way to set them up from there.”

“That...might actually be a good idea. We’d have to establish hours of service and who’s doing it, but it’ll be easy enough to set up. I’m sure there’s some communications major out there that’ll be willing to do it.”

“I have just the one in mind.” Seokmin tapped on the desk, a spastic happy series of finger flicks that Seungkwan snorted at. They were getting  _ somewhere  _ and that made Seokmin hopeful that maybe this would all be over with sooner.

“Are you sure you want me doing this?” Joshua frowned, flipping through another page of his notes.

Seokmin nodded, nudging him with his toe. The two had sprawled out in the other’s tiny dorm room, making use of the time his roommate was out. Joshua had been sorely missing out on studying and Seokmin needed to get this  _ dealt with. _ It’d only taken him a few guesses to get that Joshua was, in fact,  _ jisooschrist _ (the pun of his name had been a joke they’d had for years; how had they not noticed sooner?). Now, it was just a matter of things falling into place. “You can list it on your resume or something.”

“As what? Hotline coordinator?”

Seokmin’s brows rose. “Yes; exactly that. See — you’re already with the system.”

Joshua frowned, looked down at the book in front of him. He seemed to consider it a moment. A sigh, and then, “Sure. You’re right. And it’s not like there’s any harm in it.”

“Yeah, there's absolutely no harm in that.”

Joshua pursed his lips, and said nothing else. They went back to their studying.

“You sure this is gonna work?” Seungkwan pursed his lips as he looked on at the newest addition of their show crew.

Joshua, at this point, had just been following along. He did not think whatever it was that they were discussing was any of his business. Even if they were looking right at him as they spoke. Something about this felt too choreographed; he wasn’t knew to Seokmin  _ attempting _ to pull some sort of scheme. He meant well, and they didn’t end terribly — usually, hilariously — so Joshua found no reason  _ not _ to go along with it.

He adjusted the mic in front of him and the headset they’d given him. It wasn’t that different from setups he’d seen before; he could probably work it just fine.

“You all set?” Seokmin plopped down in the chair beside him, grin wide. He must really think whatever this is will work out. 

Joshua shrugged. He was as ready as they would want him to be. 

“We’ll be turning on the lines about halfway through the show. We’ll give you a signal so you can just sit tight after the introduction.” 

Once it was understood what would be happening, things went by faster than Joshua had anticipated. He’d been an avid listener of their show in support, but seeing the duo do what they did best was another thing. He found himself engrossed in watching them, almost forgetting his part. 

His introduction was short and to the point. Seungkwan glanced his way, giving him a thumbs up. Joshua nodded, grinned. It was good to know that at the very least, he was on the right track of whatever this was. 

“We’ll now be taking our first caller.”

Joshua might have turned his head a little too fast; the crick in his neck was saying as much. Was he ready? He wasn’t so sure anymore. He heard the line click in his ear, the headphones placed over them. There was a beat and then — 

“Hello?”

It was familiar. Something in the way the word is spoken, syllables drawn out, reminds him of someone, but his mind was too scattered to put together the pieces. “Hi.” He glanced over to Seungkwan and Seokmin, taking in the anticipation on their faces.

“Hey. I — uh — I’m supposed to, like, tell you something, right?”

“I — yes?”

“Cool. Uh, so. There’s. There’s this guy I like. I think he likes me — there’s some vibing going on — but I don’t really know how to approach it.”

“Oh?” This was...something. The voice hit too close to home for comfort. Or maybe it was just him. “Have you tried asking him out?”

“I...I tried, trust me, I have.”

“Were you being, like, overly subtle?” 

“Maybe? I don’t know.”

“Why don’t you...practice on me?” Joshua glanced over at Seokmin, who gave him a thumbs up and nodded eagerly.

“Uh.” There was a pause that lasted a little too long, and then, “Joshua, you wanna catch a movie on Friday?”

“Huh?”

“A movie. On Friday.”

“Are you asking me seriously or for practice?”

“...Yes?”

“Haha, cool. Uh, we’re moving on to our next caller now, bye!”

“Wait—”

“I cannot believe you hung up on him after he asked you out.”

Joshua looked up from his hands. “I don’t either.”

“Dude, you have a visitor.” One of the other students in the department cracked open the door. Joshua couldn’t remember his name, but he was pretty sure he never left, if the bags under his eyes were anything to go by. He inclined his head to Joshua, something of a smirk on his face. “He’s waiting outside.”

“Oh, that’s — that’s great.” Joshua wanted the ground to open up and swallow him whole. 

“Good luck.” The door clicked shut and he had half a mind to bolt in the opposite direction.

A hand landed on his shoulder and he jerked, looked up to see Seokmin staring down at him. Brows raised and a smile on his face, he cocked his head towards the door. “You should go.”

“It was probably just a joke—”

“If this is the same guy you were telling me about before — which I totally know it is — then, there’s no reason  _ not _ to go out there.” Seokmin was making, far too much sense for Joshua’s good. The other shrugged. “Just...go.”

Joshua sighed, let the words really sink in. His lips pursed as he pushed himself up from the chair. “It’ll go how it goes.”

“It’ll go how it goes.”

Seokmin gave him a final pat on the back before sending him off out the door. The hallway stretched on longer than it had before. His heartbeat muffled all other sounds, drowned out his thoughts. He wouldn’t say that he was particularly poetic, but there was something about the opening of the door that almost required it. This, in a sense, was their O’Malley’s. 

It wasn’t a bar, but the shade from the building darkened where they stood enough to make it feel as intimate as one. Joshua might have thought it would be nice to see the sun hit Vernon’s hair and make it glow, but the other had a beanie pulled down over his head. Just his ears poked out, pushed down slightly at the top from the hat to look almost elven. He sucked in a breath to avoid cooing at him.

“Y-yeah?”

Vernon glanced off to the side, rubbed at the back of his neck. “I was, like, serious…”

“You were?” Joshua knew. Of course, he knew. “Why?”

The other shrugged, glanced in another direction before looking at him full on. Even in the slightly darkened space, his eyes were still their usual enchanting honey brown. “I mean...I wanted to. Want to. For a while. It was just — hard? I dunno; but I want to, like, take you out on a date.”

“Yes.”

“Yes?” There was that grin he’d nearly walked into a door because of the first time he’d seen it.

“Yes.”

“Looks like we kinda planned our escape.”

From somewhere behind them came a pained  _ “Oh my god.” _

**Author's Note:**

> sorry, this is late, hope you enjoyed.


End file.
